Which Pronoun to Use for a Non-Binary Character in Third Person?

[Goben]

Hi everyone! I'm working on a story with a wonderful non-binary character, and I want to be respectful and accurate in my use of pronouns. I'm writing in third person, so "they/them" is the obvious and correct choice. However, I'm running into a stylistic hiccup. Sometimes, when "they" is used for both the singular character and a plural group in the same sentence, the sentence gets a little confusing.

For example: "Alex went to the park with their friends. They all sat on a bench, and then they pulled out a book." Who pulled out the book? Alex or the friends? How do you more experienced writers navigate these moments of ambiguity while still honoring the character's identity? I want to get this right, both grammatically and personally. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

[Laura]

Goben, this is a common challenge and you're handling it with care! The singular "they" is grammatically correct and widely accepted, but clarity matters. Here's how to fix those ambiguous moments:

1. Use the character's name strategically. In your example: "Alex went to the park with their friends. They all sat on a bench, and then Alex pulled out a book." Now it's crystal clear.
2. Reorganize the sentence. "After Alex and their friends sat on a bench, Alex took out a book." This avoids the pronoun pile-up altogether.
3. Use "Alex" in the first clause, "they" in the second. "Alex went to the park with friends. They all sat on a bench, and then Alex read aloud." The name anchors the reader.